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From Dale Crover
You know you’re in Canada when you get directions from the locals that are “You’re gonna see a doughnut shop and take a left, eh? Then you’ll see another doughnut shop and go right, eh?” Well, that was twelve years ago, before we had GPS. Twelve years since we’ve driven across Canada for a tour. Twenty seven years since the first time we came up here to play “America’s Hat”.
This time we’re here as Melvins Lite, which isn’t really that Lite. One less drummer and Trevor Dunn on double bass. It’s like having King Kong Bundy playing with us. We also have fancy, new custom made gear for the Lite line up. Last nights gig was in London, Ontario. It was hot, hot, hot and smelled like barf! Horrible conditions to play in! You can’t play full bore for fear of passing out. One time I watched Buzz pass out into the audience, guitar blaring feedback. The crowd pushed him back on stage and he stood there for a good 30 seconds before he realized where he was and started playing again. Gig over. Now we’re headed to Tim Hortons to see why there’s a doughnut shop every two feet here.
From Buzz Osborne
We crossed the border at Niagara Falls without much trouble… We had no merch and a fistful of paperwork to show the powers that be and they simply let us through…
Six hours later at about midnight we cruised into the outskirts of Montreal… The guy who checked us into our hotel asked if we were in a “rock” band and I told him that we were claims adjusters and worked for a large insurance firm from Edmonton. He said in that case, we looked like we could use a drink after our long journey… He called the hotel bar and told them who we were and where we worked and they agreed to stay open for another 15 minutes as long as we didn’t drink in the bar and took whatever it was we ordered back to our rooms instead… I told him that I didn’t drink and that all I was looking for was a nice comfortable place to take a piss. He just stared at me straight faced and said, “yeah right, YOU don’t drink.”
I suppose this lineup of the band is really like starting over and that’s fine with me, I LIKE a challenge… Trevor Dunn, who plays bass in the Melvins Lite is a smart ass and fortunately a talented musician as well… His stand up bass work really adds something special to this whole thing…
On stage Trevor looks like a cross between Johnny Depp and Angus Young or maybe a poindexter version of a gay Johnny Depp, or at least gayer than Johnny usually looks, which is pretty gay… There are people in the world that insist Johnny is NOT gay, AND they even say the same things about Trevor…. Be that as it may, I’ve never let that sort of thing bother me…. I think everyone is gay…
We had a GREAT show in Montreal!
I understand that this is going to be a hard sell to some people so having our first show in Canada go well was a real relief…
After the show in the van on the way back to the hotel I told everyone a semi funny story about a girlfriend I had in 1983/84 who went to Evergreen State College…. She was sort of a butch looking big punk rock chick with a foot tall mohawk and during my telling of the story I realized I couldn’t for the life of me remember her name….
I remember the butch part AND the mohawk part but what the fuck was her name?