Noel Gallagher Claims His Brother Liam "Is a Hologram"
"He's not actually real"
Published Sep 27, 2021Everyone's favourite pair of beefing British brothers are at it again: Noel Gallagher has suggested that his former Oasis bandmate and DNA-sharer Liam Gallagher is not actually real.
Of course, Noel has previously compared his brethren to a potato — a conventionally unattractive yet delicious and decidedly authentic root vegetable — but this time, in a recent interview with BBC, he goes so far as to say that Liam is a hologram.
On an airing of Radio 2's Sofa Session, interviewer Jo Whiley followed up with Noel about whether he'd still be interested in doing an Oasis reunion in holographic form.
"I did say that once, right, in the press — that I was gonna stage the concert with holograms — and I think Liam took it seriously," Noel said. Since everyone knows the Gallaghers don't exactly get along, it's a compromise that wouldn't require them to be in actual proximity with each other. It could potentially delight Oasis fans... if they're into the whole hologram thing, anyway.
Which, perhaps unbeknownst to them, they might already be: "Liam is a hologram anyway. I don't know if people know that; he's not actually real," Noel continued. "But yeah, of course I'd do [the reunion]. If anything ever changes, trust me, he would be the first to let people know about it."
Coincidentally, Liam recently fell out of a helicopter after a festival performance on Isle of Wight; but what if it wasn't coincidental at all? Can holograms fall from helicopters? Better yet, if a hologram falls out of a helicopter in the middle of a crowded wood, does anyone hear — or feel — it? We have a lot of questions about this on an existential level.
So check this out I fell out the helicopter last night you couldn't rite it all good who said RnR is dead Keith moon eat your drum skin out C'mon you know LG x pic.twitter.com/MSVR1C6EXk— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) September 18, 2021
The caricature of the artist formerly known as Liam Gallagher apparently sustained facial injuries from the helicopter crash, which does seem to bode well for the case that he is, in fact, a real person. However, his tweets do kind of read as CAPTCHA pop-up messages, and he has yet to respond to his brother's comments.
Seems suspiciously hologram-like of him, doesn't it?
Recently, Noel was kind enough to impart some wisdom as to why "nobody likes" Bono — and you can't deny that the U2 frontman being revealed as a hologram would explain a lot. Noel also finally learned how to play AC/DC's "Back in Black" thanks to his 10-year-old son.
Meanwhile, Oasis' classic "Wonderwall" is among the 10 oldest songs with a billion streams on Spotify.